True Rhapsody

My contribution to True Detective Fan culture.

Why I Don't Teach Hegel

Structure of Hegel's Science of Logic

Galt or Gor?

Ayn Rand. Nothing good tends to follow after her name comes up in discussion. Currently, my favorite way to respond to such digressions is by comparing her ideas with those of another work from the same time period, John Norman's Chronicles of Gor. Although this may be somewhat unfair to Norman, I like the idea of characterizing the ideas of John Galt and Rand's other characters as Gorean economics.

     

Both in content and style, the two authors resonate for me. So, here is a short quiz for you: Galt or Gor?

See if you can tell if the following quotes come from Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged, or John Norman's Chronicles of Gor. The answers are in the first comment below. Feel free to share your score out of 10 in the comments as well. But no cheating. Cheating is for the slavish, weak, and corrupt.

1. "I once betrayed my codes," I said. "It is not my intention to do so again."
2. “I swear by my life and my love of it that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine.” 
3. “Never think of pain or danger or enemies a moment longer than is necessary to fight them.” 
4. "In denying it we deny our nature. In betraying it we betray no one but ourselves." 
5. "Invisible chains are those which weigh the most heavily." 
6. “If one's actions are honest, one does not need the predated confidence of others.” 
7. "Did I feel a physical desire for him? I did. Was I moved by a passion of my body? I was." 
8. "Hate them for their pride and power they will pity you for your shame and weakness." 
9. "Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach."
10. "He will always be attracted to the woman who reflects his deepest vision of himself, the woman whose surrender permits him to experience a sense of self-esteem."

Alternative Academic Titles

I just realized that my inaugural post for this blog concerned a list of John Hodgman inspired academic hobo names. The recent post below on academic titles seemed in a similar vein. So in honor of this confluence, I decided I should post a slightly longer list of alternative, unused academic ranks and titles.

1. Elder Viceroy for Academic Affairs
2. Grand Vizier of Student Services
3. Vice Admiral for Institutional Research
4. Lord High Provost
5. Temporary Trusted Advisor
6. Assistant Grand Inquisitor in Residence
7. Major General of General Studies
8. Adjutant Affiliate Graduate Dean
9. Honorary Academician
10. Eternal Assistant Dean
11. Associate Vice Khan
12. Distinguished Interim Emperor
13. Visiting Dean Regent
14. Acting Vice Sultan of Instruction
15. Supreme Exalted Associate Professor
16. Eminent Illustrious Adjunct Instructor
17. Serene Associate Vice Provost
18. Venerable Consulting Scholar
19. Grand High Instructor
20. Honored Guest Director
21. Emeritus Grand Mugwump

Here is an actual list of academic ranks and titles. It is no less strange.

Academic Titles

As a consequence of my interdisciplinary program's perpetual restructuring, I've become unreasonably expert at academic job titles. There is a vast sea of differences among various ranks and titles which make no clear difference except to their office holders, but this does not prevent them from being jealously guarded and doled out only sparingly.

First, there are the mysteries of academic ranks: Assistant, Associate, and Full Professors, Adjuncts, Instructors, Lectures, etc. along with the entire alphabet for our various degrees: PhD, MA, BA, BS, EdD, MFA, etc. These are all used with relative consistency among academic institutions in the US and although often unclear to those outside of academia, those of us on the inside imagine them to be very clear and precise.

Then there are the various administrative job titles: Chairs, Deans, Assistants, Associates, Vice, Interim, Provost, Chancellors, and Presidents. This entire menagerie begins to overlap and interbreed so you get Associate Vice Chancellors and Interim Assistant Chairs. These often have specific local meanings and can be more difficult to translate from one institution to another.

Finally, there are the strange interstitial institutional locations which seem to demand their own names, but which aren't supposed to compete with the more well entrenched ranks and titles. Directors, Advisors, Coordinators, etc. I inhabit one of these institutional borderlands. My current rank is Associate Professor and my current administrative title is Interim Director. There are entire histories of institutional schism and intrigue that can be read within such titles by those intimate with the intricacies of academic power.

Recently, though, I have needed to create new titles to distinguish between various faculty performing useful and necessary, but uncompensated, services within our academic program. I have been leaning towards the bland but unobjectionable honorific of "Advisor" for all of these jobs. But no doubt this will still need more committee meetings to accomplish.

However, I began to think of all the other possible academic titles we could use, but don't. Why just plain "Advisor," why not "Trusted Advisor" instead? But why stop there? There are many possible honorifics which are currently untapped. Military titles: Vice Admiral for Institutional Research. Eastern titles: Grand Vizier of Student Services. The possibilities are endless. Academic Potentates, Captains, Bishops, Grand Dragons, Black Belts, Yahoos, Fuhrers, and Emperors are all possible academic titles just waiting to be claimed. Just think how this could liven up our dull and pedestrian cv's by the judicious use of some of these more colorful and unused options. I wager you would take special note of a colleague who was introduced with the title of Elder Viceroy for Academic Affairs. And given that so many of our academic jobs receive no remuneration beyond a dignified title, perhaps we should begin to insist on the splendid.

Poor Judgment

A candidate whose name has come to mean this, really shouldn't be holding up this particular sign.

Happy Nigel Tufnel Day!

11/11/11 Nigel Tufnel Day

Mirror Stage

I must remember this photo the next time I teach Lacan's "Mirror Stage."

Attendance Forecast

How to forecast class attendance by looking out your office window:

When the weather is gray and cold, it will be too miserable outside for students to want to make the trek to class and so attendance will drop off.

When the weather is gorgeous and sunny, it will be too nice outside for students to want to spend time in class and so attendance will drop off.

It's a lose/lose situation. There is simply no such thing as good weather for classes.

Sanity: Get Some

Via.

Marx, Marxist, Marxian...

... Marxitudinal, Marxical, Marxal, Marxidinal, Marxican, Marxicano, Marxy, Marxial, Marxupial, Marxinally, Marxiness, Marxiginous, Marxissity, Marxiginal, Marxicality, Marxolydian.

I've been doing some writing lately and I've been feeling the need for some alternative ways of writing about Marx in order to avoid sounding repetitious.

I'm over that desire now.

Redacted Racism

I Read Some Marx And I Liked It

This is brilliant! I will be using this on this first day of class in the Fall.

A Panel of Experts

All Grading And No Play

All grading and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All grading and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All grading and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All grading and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All grading and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All grading and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All grading and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All grading and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All grading and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All grading and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All grading and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All grading and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All grading and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All grading and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All grading and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All grading and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All grading and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All grading and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All grading and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All grading and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All grading and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All grading and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All grading and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All grading and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All grading and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All grading and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All grading and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All grading and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All grading and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All grading and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All grading and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All grading and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All grading and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All grading and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All grading and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All grading and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All grading and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All grading and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All grading and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All grading and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All grading and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All grading and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All grading and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All grading and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All grading and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All grading and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All grading and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All grading and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All grading and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All grading and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

Reading Heidegger

Via Posthegemony and Quick Study:

On Power Point Usage

 

Via.

Beatles 3000

Net Neutrality

I Need A Mission Statement

My university has a mission statement. My college has a mission statement. My (former) department and (current) program both have mission statements. These documents all tend to be vaguely noble, yet also strangely nebulous. However, that doesn't seem to stop all manner of policies from being implemented in the name of these mission statements.

I think I need a mission statement too.

I need a mission statement that "encourages and fosters the growth of" my sanity.  A mission statement that "advances the twin goals" of lowering my blood pressure and calming my nerves through the "creation and cultivation" of peaceful working environments. I need a mission statement that "recognizes the continuing importance" of my ongoing financial well being and "seeks to achieve these goals through the development and implementation of creative and innovative policies and practices."

Do you think I should post my mission statement on my door underneath my office hours?